Wingless

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I float, skies are brilliant blue

how do I get back to you

me, the reflection stares back

pointing fingers in mid-flight

sideways, up, down,

How do I get back to you, ME…

The air feels smooth, cool

Do I want to come back to Me, You

The reflections smears

Fingerprints unknown

How do I get back to me?

Do I land now, how?

Wingless I left

Wingless I return

No way to land safely

The ground gets closer

I close my eyes

You cheer me on, ME

I can no longer see clearly

My eyes closed,

I come in for the landing

Dirt, rocks, brush, you, YOU, finally you…

©Sandi Martinez

 

 

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Polarity

butterflies_450 pix

Dark crawls through jagged edges of

light

Light, suspends its wings

it stops, mid-flight

The flicker pauses

unsure of day or night

Black streaks break up the bright

as flickers of white

race to make it alright

Dark is lost

suspended in time

All can be seen in its

infinite divine

… Dark is lost

 ©Sandi Martinez

In the rough

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When I first took this pic (above), it was spring of this year, 2017. The vibrant colors spoke to me. The star-like image in the center of this beautiful flower, reminded me that life always begins. Even when it ends. Winter had just wrapped up – the ground had already thawed.

As I look at my life now – mid-summer – hot, sticky, and well, wonderfully warm, I am brought back to this image. All life is now in full-bloom. All gardens are mature, and flowering… smiling. But somehow, I feel a bit rough around the edges. As if I’m not quite myself, and yet all the changes I’ve been through, have led me here: to a moment of understanding.

All life will continue living. Being. All the changes I’ve encountered mirror that. Though it hasn’t felt like it, this I realize is my inner truth: Through all the unknowns, worries, and more worries, one thing remains true, life continues to unfold. Will I continue to move with that sure movement, or will I hang  back observing, as if it isn’t my life?

I’d like to. Because the worst feeling is to feel as if there is no choice. My choice? Flow with the waters that eventually lead to the oceans of time, life, and love. Flow with universe and trust all has its own time. Trust that the universal power has the upper hand.

Oh, and smell the lovely roses in bloom, because soon, my favorite season will come: fall… in all its raving mad, colorful beauty!

 

A Look Back

WP Snow_Pecos.jpg[Photo Credit: Sandi Martinez]

Wind stops

snow flakes sparkle

seconds pass

spurs on mind’s chaos

winter coats the ground

a crunch underfoot

soon sprouts of green

will grow

just as my thoughts turn to snow

A look back

no better than before

better to know

nowhere to go

but back around

to solid, wet ground

back around to a past

come back around

the cold blows

my mind

knows

time

to

go

by Sandi Martinez

The world of editing

In many ways, editing your own work can create a sense of dread. I say this because I’ve finished the first book of a trilogy that I’m writing, and am now in the editing phase. As I edit, I find I have to change things I liked when I first put the words down. Now, I find I have to change a lot… this puts my story in a very malleable and twisted state. It means that I have to shift other parts later in the story to align with the beginning.

While this is somewhat painful, I feel it is a very important and necessary plight to contend with. I am no longer the creative writer. I am the critic who now nit-pics and picks apart every sentence, adjusting and changing words, and reminding myself that it’s all for the best. There are days I don’t want to edit. Times I tell myself I can do it ‘later’. But the truth is, it’s a long process and I don’t like having to change the things I’m seeing, but beg to be transformed.

In the next few posts, I would like to share some excerpts of my book prior to publishing. I will need your input and brutal honesty. I’ve written this story for you – the readers.

… Stay tuned.

Many blessings,

Sandi