Serenity

lamp 425_pix

I inhale sharply

the pain constricts

like a boa making

its way thru my ribs

 

It hurts, the fear mocks

me as if to say,

“I WIN”

I slump forward

 

But the flash of light

pulls me backward

its warmth too

hard to resist

 

It’s only then I realize

courage does exist

right here, right now

warmth of light shows me how

©Sandi Martinez

Advertisements

Peace, a Natural State of Being

apple orchard_525 pix.jpg

Intentions – they outline our thoughts, that then lead to action. Simply put, without intention, there is no outline. We may have random thoughts that buzz around what we want, and think is the best course of action. But in reality, when we put those thoughts out to pasture, what seeds will they birth?

My neighbor, (where the above pic is taken) has this amazing apple orchard. It looks as if snow has covered all the trees, and yet conversely, there is grass; water pooling underneath, providing the nutrients these apple trees will need to survive. I was in awe. This pic symbolized peace.

Peace. A natural state of being we can achieve when not held down by negativity, fear, and self-loathing. The kind we do when we chop ourselves up into a million pieces thinking, ‘I could’ve done better’. Peace, the decision I made at the start of 2018. And you may ask, ‘Well, how’s that going so far?’ to which I would respond, ‘Splendidly’. Because if I think even for a minute that all of life’s big bombers have a chance of taking me down, I’ve already failed. But no. That’s not the case.

Serenity is something that we all I would like to think, like to achieve. But really, it’s during the chaos, the pain, the unforeseen bombs that come our way, that if we can maintain a modicum of peace through it all; that peace ultimately is born. Chaos is always there. Peace is always there. Ultimately, it’s a choice. If we maintain peace through the most difficult chaotic moments, we have ultimately slipped on the long-lasting effects of serenity.

That’s the blessing and miracles that peace offers. The constant chance of breathing, exhaling, inhaling, and exhaling again, all the bad, negative, evil, and ugly-tasting things in life, we don’t need to absorb. The things that miracles are made of.

Keep, keeping on…

Many blessings,

Sandi

 

No Excuses…

turtle

Shame on me… my last post appears to be in December of 2017. So, why post now? Four months later?

While I may have no excuses, I suppose I have my reasons. Creativity poses not only opportunities to express, but also, to stop; in stillness  – to look around, to listen to something, albeit a lot of nothing. I think this is where meditation comes in. So why tie meditation and creativity together in this oddball way?

Doesn’t an artist simply splash a bunch of their genius on canvas at any time during the day or night? With nothing to stop or distract from the creative  process? I wish I could give plenty of answers or reasons why an artist, regardless of the medium, creates their best, or worst work…

The turtle may take its sweet time to get from point A, to point B, and in doing so, wastes no time in asking the how’s or why’s in life. I can hazard a guess as to what the turtle is really thinking: Get there in one piece, and watch out for anything that might tip me over…

“Anything that may tip me over”. And that’s where I came to complete stop.

I’ve spent a great deal of the last part of 2017, getting turned back over. Life, challenges, obstacles, self-trepidation, self-delusion, and self-forgiveness led me here – now – to a place of peace. Alas, 2018 has been about peace. The maintenance, nurturing, and suckling of peace, in all areas of my life. Does this mean I only create when there is chaos, confusion, and bunch of badness in my life? Yes and no. The reality is, where there is black, there is white. Evil, there is a sacred energy flowing through everything and everyone. Where there is good, there is bad. A negative has its positive.

Creativity’s job, is to present these energies in their truest forms. I can see better when I have a full unobstructed view of what’s real and what isn’t. Therefore, I create with full expression – unanswerable to all that would require an explanation of the unexplainable. And this is where I will leave it… the quest to express without prejudice, the beauty of all that is, coming to be, and all that is yet to be born – whether good, evil, black, white, and in color.

Many blessings,

Sandi

Side effects

Sowelo

One of the most common side effects of spiritual growth, is temper-tantrum-throwing. Yes, that’s right – stomping our feet, clawing at the floor or walls for dear life, as life pulls us ever deeper into the light. Screaming, yelling fits, self-pity, and yes, the recognition of all said behaviors above.

At the same time, this is absolutely beautiful. A painful, embarrassing, and beautiful process. And this is what I run into when people call me for a reading. And this is why I call it Divine Guidance. When I work with individuals from all walks of life, and they’re trusting me with sharing their problems, while looking for answers; I am filled with hope. I am honored.

Why? Because this is a sign that people want to change. They want to grow. They want and need or are looking for something different. I say a prayer prior to each reading. My prayer asks that the universe bring those to me, who are truly open to not only hearing the divine truth, but also are ready to make solid and ground-breaking progress on their path.

But what about those that aren’t there yet? Ahhh… a spiritual advisor can’t be picky. We can’t just want to help those that are ready and willing to be helped. Sometimes, it’s the ones that are the most confused, hurting, and broken people that are led to us – and most readily are the ones that require our patience, kindness, understanding, compassion, and light. These are the temper-tantrum throwers, and interestingly enough, are the ones I learn from the most.

Today, I say to universe, bring it on!

-Many blessings,

Sandi

 

Hope Knocks

rainbow_450 pix

And I looked down

and my feet were brown

stained by dirt, and mud

my chin hit my chest

… a loud thud

and I cried

I reached out to thin air

the stuck breaths… I tried

to breathe, to leave

and find myself

 

To put all my troubles on the

top shelf

but the more I walked

my knees locked

my head a big bad mess

would the sadness stop,

become less?

 

Then I saw the streaks

yellow, blue, teak

and the rainbow broke through

and I saw you – my angel

nothing more to do

 

All this time, you were my cue

now I know

the mud will come off

my head will come back up

hope knocks

the door unlocked

 

©Sandi Martinez

A Look Back

WP Snow_Pecos.jpg[Photo Credit: Sandi Martinez]

Wind stops

snow flakes sparkle

seconds pass

spurs on mind’s chaos

winter coats the ground

a crunch underfoot

soon sprouts of green

will grow

just as my thoughts turn to snow

A look back

no better than before

better to know

nowhere to go

but back around

to solid, wet ground

back around to a past

come back around

the cold blows

my mind

knows

time

to

go

by Sandi Martinez

Pain and Grace

Unexpected beauty in the midst of hellish musings. (Image: Sandi's)

Unexpected beauty in the midst of hellish musings. (Image: Sandi’s)

There is no way I can honestly get away from the truth; it seems all kinds of cool things have been happening on my walks at work. Today, I was honored by this Monarch’s presence. During my walk, I had played a video about a vet who had filmed his heartbreak over the death of a kitten, on Facebook. Now, I’m not a Facebooker… Never have been, and never will be, but truly, I relish these kinds of posts. To see the vet, click Abused Kitten Passes Away.

There are subtitles for those who don’t understand the language he speaks. I was fuming by the time I rounded the corner of the parking lot near my office. But seconds later, I saw the butterfly. I wondered, WTF? Then I flashed back to his anguish – the vet – and thought, this man is so incredibly brave to express his devastation. He admits he’s no saint, but how can anyone who calls themselves human, do such a horrific thing?

This brings me to a few things I am grateful for: One, I thank God for people like the vet; everyday, they see horrors we could never imagine, and yet, also experience amazing miracles. Two, I thank God there are caring humans out there; they are the ones who take in stray cats, dogs, find homes for our larger animal friends, like horses, goats, etc… There are people like me who give free psychic readings to those who donate over $20 to animal rescue orgs, and so many amazing animal rescue organizations all over the world. And finally, to our faith, trust, and balls in forging forward in a world that is filled with evil and yet gets stomped out by the light every time.

The butterfly is quite an amazing creature (I say this with love). There are so many facets to the their beauty, I won’t spend too much time naming them. One thing remains clear: There is grace to be found in the ugliness of this world, and pain unmasked by simplicity, love, and cajones… BIG ONES.