Wingless

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I float, skies are brilliant blue

how do I get back to you

me, the reflection stares back

pointing fingers in mid-flight

sideways, up, down,

How do I get back to you, ME…

The air feels smooth, cool

Do I want to come back to Me, You

The reflections smears

Fingerprints unknown

How do I get back to me?

Do I land now, how?

Wingless I left

Wingless I return

No way to land safely

The ground gets closer

I close my eyes

You cheer me on, ME

I can no longer see clearly

My eyes closed,

I come in for the landing

Dirt, rocks, brush, you, YOU, finally you…

©Sandi Martinez

 

 

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Polarity

butterflies_450 pix

Dark crawls through jagged edges of

light

Light, suspends its wings

it stops, mid-flight

The flicker pauses

unsure of day or night

Black streaks break up the bright

as flickers of white

race to make it alright

Dark is lost

suspended in time

All can be seen in its

infinite divine

… Dark is lost

 ©Sandi Martinez

In the rough

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When I first took this pic (above), it was spring of this year, 2017. The vibrant colors spoke to me. The star-like image in the center of this beautiful flower, reminded me that life always begins. Even when it ends. Winter had just wrapped up – the ground had already thawed.

As I look at my life now – mid-summer – hot, sticky, and well, wonderfully warm, I am brought back to this image. All life is now in full-bloom. All gardens are mature, and flowering… smiling. But somehow, I feel a bit rough around the edges. As if I’m not quite myself, and yet all the changes I’ve been through, have led me here: to a moment of understanding.

All life will continue living. Being. All the changes I’ve encountered mirror that. Though it hasn’t felt like it, this I realize is my inner truth: Through all the unknowns, worries, and more worries, one thing remains true, life continues to unfold. Will I continue to move with that sure movement, or will I hang  back observing, as if it isn’t my life?

I’d like to. Because the worst feeling is to feel as if there is no choice. My choice? Flow with the waters that eventually lead to the oceans of time, life, and love. Flow with universe and trust all has its own time. Trust that the universal power has the upper hand.

Oh, and smell the lovely roses in bloom, because soon, my favorite season will come: fall… in all its raving mad, colorful beauty!

 

Soul’s a callin’, are you listening?

IMG_20170527_201706Okay, so it’s June… Flowers blooming; scents overwhelming! Some of us are so busy being busy, we forget to stop and smell the roses – literally.

Some of us are gloomy, sad, worried, and seem to have lost a bit of hope and sunshine. Why? Change is upon us. The four season’s don’t care about the time, or place. When our soul’s are awakening, and we need something different, the soul stirs. Through clouds, sunshine, rain, snow, crazy winds, and everything in between, the soul is challenging us.

How do we make these changes? Moving house? A new job? Looking for a new job? Getting married, getting divorced, getting insane, getting sane… there is no easy answer. But the soul has a way of leading and guiding us. Sometimes, we call this intuition. Sometimes, we call it ‘a small voice’ in our heads. It doesn’t matter how we hear it. What matters is that we do hear it.

This can be a frightening time. If we do heed the call for change already happening, or just at the fringes knocking, it’s scary, there’s no other way around it. But when we cower from change, we become like the stick in the mud, the proverbial STICK IN THE MUD.

But HOW do we make these changes whilst keeping sane and staying in the exciting moment of stepping forward, and not falling back to the negative replays of the B.S. we have fed ourselves, since we could logically think? You just DO IT. Thinking too much, or avoiding thinking is a fine balance. The trick is in the doing.

I’m here folks. I’m here to cheer you on. Get your soul on, and walk forward, knowing every step you take, gets you closer. You are not alone. Every human on earth is facing something. And while not the same as you, it is change nonetheless. Need a free intuitive reading? I can help. All you have to do is donate over $20 to your favorite animal rescue org. Click Animal Rescue Org Enthusiast, for more info. I’m here to help.

Get your soul on, and fly your freak flags folks, it’s summer, the season of sun, love, love, and more love.

Many blessings!

Sandi

A Look Back

WP Snow_Pecos.jpg[Photo Credit: Sandi Martinez]

Wind stops

snow flakes sparkle

seconds pass

spurs on mind’s chaos

winter coats the ground

a crunch underfoot

soon sprouts of green

will grow

just as my thoughts turn to snow

A look back

no better than before

better to know

nowhere to go

but back around

to solid, wet ground

back around to a past

come back around

the cold blows

my mind

knows

time

to

go

by Sandi Martinez

A New Tradition

I’d like to start first, by wishing you all a wonderful Christmas, and an even better and prosperous new year. As I say goodbye to 2016, I’m forced to look back at things I could have done better. At the risk of being a bit hard on myself, I might go as far to say, I know better. Many of you have seen me lately at my worst, with the two dogs that I took upon myself, to find homes for. First, I’d like to thank my nephew Lee, for caring for Ginger at a time I could no longer keep her in my apartment.  As of this moment, Ginger is now being fostered in Abiquiu, NM, by a lovely woman named, Janine, who was working with Donna Leshne from Dew Paws Rescue in Santa Fe, NM.

What started this mess, was the way the situation was mishandled by family members I would have never expected. I see it as throwing Ginger, and Lovey away – they see it as ‘we can’t take care of them anymore’. I know things happen, and life moves us in different directions, and that life in fact, is unpredictable. This however was not the case with Ginger, and Lovey. And so I am stuck with own inability to forgive and move forward. I’m stuck in this strange place of seeing my own pain, disappointments, and betrayals, and am forced to look deep into the chaos. As I do this, I don’t want to open up at the moment. I don’t feel like spending Christmas with family. Lovey, pictured at the left, is still with me and my other two fur-babies, Benji and Azra (pictured at the right).

Part of the magic this time of year, is to extend oneself and offer gifts of friendship, love, support, and kindness, that we normally forget to do during the rest of the year. I  see this as a new opportunity to grow and do something different.

And so, on behalf of Ana Maria, and Marissa Sol Martinez, my two nieces who live in Denver, CO, thank you for giving $40, in presents to Josiah, age 11, and his sister, Shyrae, 7, during this difficult time. Their mother had 3 strokes and almost lost her life. She had to learn to talk again. Her mother Anita moved in to assist her and then on December 10, Anita suffered an aneurism. She went into surgery shortly after to drain fluid from her brain. Anita suffered two massive strokes and was put on life support. Unfortunately, she didn’t make it. Due to the financial hardship the family is now experiencing, Josiah, and Shyrae, were not going to have a Christmas. No presents under the tree. But now, they will – thank you Ana, and Marissa!

I will be spending Christmas not with my family, but rather allowing myself to be a conduit for God’s purpose. I will stop here for now, as I prepare to give out $5 gift cards from McDonald’s, to anyone who appears to need it. This could happen on a  street, at a bus stop, at folks sitting on street corners, or???…

And so I do hope that in this state I’m in – the only thing that can come of it, is good. Not the expression of anger, pain, or disappointment that is useless during times like these. And so I go forth now to take care of myself, and those people who are in need.

Many blessings folks, and give the gift that keeps on giving – generosity.

Sandi

Death’s Greatest Gift; FREEDOM

A walk in the cemetery (Image: by Kimtastic)

A walk in the cemetery with a friend (Santa Fe National Cemetery: Santa Fe, NM)

Happy Independence Day everyone! Odd way to start out this entry – death? Freedom? The reality is, there are no fireworks with death. Unless of course there is unexpected death by stray sparks in a busy park… but no need to get morbid.

What I’d like to say is that there is death all around us in every form; in every way, every day. The leaves that fall off trees, allow for new growth to occur on those branches. The weeds we pull from our gardens, free up space for our vegetables and flowers to grow even more fully and beautifully. Once something is gone, it is replaced; there is an in-between. In between, there is freedom. A moment of emptiness, stillness, silence. Anything can happen in those moments. Sometimes it’s days, months, or years. That empty space is all about freedom.

Freedom leads to independence. I’m in a space just recently, where I have tons of freedom, but I can’t fully enjoy it, or act on it, until some things around me have an ending – a death.

Today, is a day we all celebrate Fourth of July, a federal holiday commemorating the adoption of the Declaration of Independence on July 4, 1776; the day that the United States formally declared its independence from Great Britain therefore achieving freedom from British rule. But who needs or wants a history lesson? To me, it always feels like so much more is celebrated in achieving and maintaining independence.

It’s about allowing myself to have and understand great gratitude and humility for all I have, all that I am, and for expressing inexpressible thanks to the men and women who have given their lives for us spoiled Americans, to continue on as we do.

So, if death in its scary and intimidating ways, becomes the avenue in which I find the paths that will truly lead me to my own freedom, then I can only say to myself, happy dying… because in the dying, there is living – and the happiness that lies in every corner waiting to accost me, in surprising and demanding ways…

(Thanks for the image Kim!)