Serenity

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I inhale sharply

the pain constricts

like a boa making

its way thru my ribs

 

It hurts, the fear mocks

me as if to say,

“I WIN”

I slump forward

 

But the flash of light

pulls me backward

its warmth too

hard to resist

 

It’s only then I realize

courage does exist

right here, right now

warmth of light shows me how

©Sandi Martinez

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Peace, a Natural State of Being

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Intentions – they outline our thoughts, that then lead to action. Simply put, without intention, there is no outline. We may have random thoughts that buzz around what we want, and think is the best course of action. But in reality, when we put those thoughts out to pasture, what seeds will they birth?

My neighbor, (where the above pic is taken) has this amazing apple orchard. It looks as if snow has covered all the trees, and yet conversely, there is grass; water pooling underneath, providing the nutrients these apple trees will need to survive. I was in awe. This pic symbolized peace.

Peace. A natural state of being we can achieve when not held down by negativity, fear, and self-loathing. The kind we do when we chop ourselves up into a million pieces thinking, ‘I could’ve done better’. Peace, the decision I made at the start of 2018. And you may ask, ‘Well, how’s that going so far?’ to which I would respond, ‘Splendidly’. Because if I think even for a minute that all of life’s big bombers have a chance of taking me down, I’ve already failed. But no. That’s not the case.

Serenity is something that we all I would like to think, like to achieve. But really, it’s during the chaos, the pain, the unforeseen bombs that come our way, that if we can maintain a modicum of peace through it all; that peace ultimately is born. Chaos is always there. Peace is always there. Ultimately, it’s a choice. If we maintain peace through the most difficult chaotic moments, we have ultimately slipped on the long-lasting effects of serenity.

That’s the blessing and miracles that peace offers. The constant chance of breathing, exhaling, inhaling, and exhaling again, all the bad, negative, evil, and ugly-tasting things in life, we don’t need to absorb. The things that miracles are made of.

Keep, keeping on…

Many blessings,

Sandi

 

No Excuses…

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Shame on me… my last post appears to be in December of 2017. So, why post now? Four months later?

While I may have no excuses, I suppose I have my reasons. Creativity poses not only opportunities to express, but also, to stop; in stillness  – to look around, to listen to something, albeit a lot of nothing. I think this is where meditation comes in. So why tie meditation and creativity together in this oddball way?

Doesn’t an artist simply splash a bunch of their genius on canvas at any time during the day or night? With nothing to stop or distract from the creative  process? I wish I could give plenty of answers or reasons why an artist, regardless of the medium, creates their best, or worst work…

The turtle may take its sweet time to get from point A, to point B, and in doing so, wastes no time in asking the how’s or why’s in life. I can hazard a guess as to what the turtle is really thinking: Get there in one piece, and watch out for anything that might tip me over…

“Anything that may tip me over”. And that’s where I came to complete stop.

I’ve spent a great deal of the last part of 2017, getting turned back over. Life, challenges, obstacles, self-trepidation, self-delusion, and self-forgiveness led me here – now – to a place of peace. Alas, 2018 has been about peace. The maintenance, nurturing, and suckling of peace, in all areas of my life. Does this mean I only create when there is chaos, confusion, and bunch of badness in my life? Yes and no. The reality is, where there is black, there is white. Evil, there is a sacred energy flowing through everything and everyone. Where there is good, there is bad. A negative has its positive.

Creativity’s job, is to present these energies in their truest forms. I can see better when I have a full unobstructed view of what’s real and what isn’t. Therefore, I create with full expression – unanswerable to all that would require an explanation of the unexplainable. And this is where I will leave it… the quest to express without prejudice, the beauty of all that is, coming to be, and all that is yet to be born – whether good, evil, black, white, and in color.

Many blessings,

Sandi

Hope Knocks

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And I looked down

and my feet were brown

stained by dirt, and mud

my chin hit my chest

… a loud thud

and I cried

I reached out to thin air

the stuck breaths… I tried

to breathe, to leave

and find myself

 

To put all my troubles on the

top shelf

but the more I walked

my knees locked

my head a big bad mess

would the sadness stop,

become less?

 

Then I saw the streaks

yellow, blue, teak

and the rainbow broke through

and I saw you – my angel

nothing more to do

 

All this time, you were my cue

now I know

the mud will come off

my head will come back up

hope knocks

the door unlocked

 

©Sandi Martinez

Wingless

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I float, skies are brilliant blue

how do I get back to you

me, the reflection stares back

pointing fingers in mid-flight

sideways, up, down,

How do I get back to you, ME…

The air feels smooth, cool

Do I want to come back to Me, You

The reflections smears

Fingerprints unknown

How do I get back to me?

Do I land now, how?

Wingless I left

Wingless I return

No way to land safely

The ground gets closer

I close my eyes

You cheer me on, ME

I can no longer see clearly

My eyes closed,

I come in for the landing

Dirt, rocks, brush, you, YOU, finally you…

©Sandi Martinez

 

 

The Rune of Protection

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Every few years, I seem to encounter some major changes in my life often tied to moving, or changing jobs. It would be great if the changes were more like getting a new hair style, or a new car…

This morning, as part of my morning meditation, I drew the Algiz Rune, a powerful rune of protection. For those of you who may be unfamiliar with Runes, they are basically letters that were used before the Latin alphabet was adopted to write various Germanic languages. However, It’s thought that because rune letters were often found on artifacts, that runes were used for magical purposes to be used as charms. The meaning of ‘Rune’ is ‘Something secret, hidden’. There’s an indication that the runes were originally considered esoteric.

The elder Futhark Runes consist of 24 runes, and are of the old Germanic alphabet. Over centuries, other new variants such as, Anglo-Saxon Futhorc runes that consist of 33 runes, Turkish and Hungarian Runes, Etruscan alphabet, and the Scandinavian Futhark, have been created. Rune symbols can be carved into different kinds of material. The most common are gem stones, wood, and other ceramic materials.

In fact, a lot of mystery surrounds runes, and their origin. But right now, I’d like to focus on the Elder Futhark, which are the runes I work with. By the way, the first six letters of ‘Futhark’ make up the Elder Futhark (spelling out ‘Futhark’) rune alphabet. Here, I am using rune cards. I found that when I use gem stones or ceramics, they break on me. The cards are a safe bet!

As I mentioned earlier in this entry, I have undergone many changes; I drew a rune for today – a way to get some more guidance as I continue on this journey fraught with changes. To draw the ‘Algiz’ rune was comforting. One of the questions I ask myself often is, will I be ok? Will I be protected from negative influences? Or even just my own negative thinking… So many things can go wrong while on a new path, and the rune Algiz – or Elhaz – meaning elk literally, is just the encouragement I need.

So, the answer is yes I’ll be protected against any obstacles, or threats that may come as a result of stepping onto my new path. I will also be protected from myself – thank goodness! I can often be the biggest and best obstacle to my own success. Well, not today!

Many blessings!

Sandi

In the rough

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When I first took this pic (above), it was spring of this year, 2017. The vibrant colors spoke to me. The star-like image in the center of this beautiful flower, reminded me that life always begins. Even when it ends. Winter had just wrapped up – the ground had already thawed.

As I look at my life now – mid-summer – hot, sticky, and well, wonderfully warm, I am brought back to this image. All life is now in full-bloom. All gardens are mature, and flowering… smiling. But somehow, I feel a bit rough around the edges. As if I’m not quite myself, and yet all the changes I’ve been through, have led me here: to a moment of understanding.

All life will continue living. Being. All the changes I’ve encountered mirror that. Though it hasn’t felt like it, this I realize is my inner truth: Through all the unknowns, worries, and more worries, one thing remains true, life continues to unfold. Will I continue to move with that sure movement, or will I hang  back observing, as if it isn’t my life?

I’d like to. Because the worst feeling is to feel as if there is no choice. My choice? Flow with the waters that eventually lead to the oceans of time, life, and love. Flow with universe and trust all has its own time. Trust that the universal power has the upper hand.

Oh, and smell the lovely roses in bloom, because soon, my favorite season will come: fall… in all its raving mad, colorful beauty!

 

Soul’s a callin’, are you listening?

IMG_20170527_201706Okay, so it’s June… Flowers blooming; scents overwhelming! Some of us are so busy being busy, we forget to stop and smell the roses – literally.

Some of us are gloomy, sad, worried, and seem to have lost a bit of hope and sunshine. Why? Change is upon us. The four season’s don’t care about the time, or place. When our soul’s are awakening, and we need something different, the soul stirs. Through clouds, sunshine, rain, snow, crazy winds, and everything in between, the soul is challenging us.

How do we make these changes? Moving house? A new job? Looking for a new job? Getting married, getting divorced, getting insane, getting sane… there is no easy answer. But the soul has a way of leading and guiding us. Sometimes, we call this intuition. Sometimes, we call it ‘a small voice’ in our heads. It doesn’t matter how we hear it. What matters is that we do hear it.

This can be a frightening time. If we do heed the call for change already happening, or just at the fringes knocking, it’s scary, there’s no other way around it. But when we cower from change, we become like the stick in the mud, the proverbial STICK IN THE MUD.

But HOW do we make these changes whilst keeping sane and staying in the exciting moment of stepping forward, and not falling back to the negative replays of the B.S. we have fed ourselves, since we could logically think? You just DO IT. Thinking too much, or avoiding thinking is a fine balance. The trick is in the doing.

I’m here folks. I’m here to cheer you on. Get your soul on, and walk forward, knowing every step you take, gets you closer. You are not alone. Every human on earth is facing something. And while not the same as you, it is change nonetheless. Need a free intuitive reading? I can help. All you have to do is donate over $20 to your favorite animal rescue org. Click Animal Rescue Org Enthusiast, for more info. I’m here to help.

Get your soul on, and fly your freak flags folks, it’s summer, the season of sun, love, love, and more love.

Many blessings!

Sandi

A Look Back

WP Snow_Pecos.jpg[Photo Credit: Sandi Martinez]

Wind stops

snow flakes sparkle

seconds pass

spurs on mind’s chaos

winter coats the ground

a crunch underfoot

soon sprouts of green

will grow

just as my thoughts turn to snow

A look back

no better than before

better to know

nowhere to go

but back around

to solid, wet ground

back around to a past

come back around

the cold blows

my mind

knows

time

to

go

by Sandi Martinez

On Pause

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Very recently, I had stopped by a gas station on my way to work to buy a breakfast burrito. Well, as I am preparing to open the door, there was a man who looked strangely at me. I wondered why. I am not a big preen queen, but I know I didn’t look that scary… then I realized it wasn’t me he was looking at. As I continue to write my Divine Wars trilogy, I am ever surprised at the closeness and love that I am experiencing on a daily basis with my guardian angels.

The man wasn’t looking at me, he was looking at one of my angel’s who appeared very big and frightening. And so when his eyes widened it had to be a surprise to see them. I say ‘them’ because I don’t really know how many were with me. I felt the presences of archangel Michael, but I couldn’t be sure. I almost felt a pang of jealousy that the stranger could see him, and I couldn’t. That’s how it is, I can sense and hear them – communicate fully with them – but I can never really see them. I think maybe it’s better that way.

However, going back to the man. I opened the door, and he carefully sidestepped me. I couldn’t figure out if maybe I was in danger, or something. The man looked a bit shady, but I try not to judge the book by its cover. I just want to remind all of you that your guardian angels are real. They love you and protect you always.

I wonder if they ever think we are selfish and spoiled humans? I know when I have my conversations with my angels they are very loving, gentle, and kind. In order to forge a relationship with your angels, it’s imperative that you not think bad or negative thoughts about yourself. You are not crazy, you are not insane or ‘losing it’. You simply are awakening… reach out to your guardians… they are real. They are really, really, real.

-Many blessings, Sandi