The thing about writing

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Writing really, truly, is a creative and nearly magical process. Even in writing works of non-fiction, there is this place the creator must be: In the head. The mind becomes a block of words. Words that must capture what is funneling through the writer’s mind – thus depositing in as much as a transparent, and articulate flow of intention as possible – into the reader’s mind.

All writers know this. But the thing about writing, is that ‘getting there’ to that place of magical depositing, is the most difficult and frustrating process of writing. Because once you are there, the words take on this wonderful world of their own. Almost as if the words don’t need the writer anymore.

I wish I could be there more often. I wish I could get out of my head, and let the flow of creativity flow through my body, where it would then circle around back and dump all that colorful and wonderful world of magic that has ceased to exist into my empty mind.

But the truth is, I’ve needed to empty my mind. A mental hibernation of sorts was called for in order to get me here; writing this piece about not being there. And so I wait. I wait for the warmth of words, and the fire in the belly, that will expose them and order them into a semblance of story – a perfect chaos of magical ironies, and a hot mess of emotions that will spur me to keep tapping on these keys.

So until then folks… keep writing, reading, and writing until you find yourself again, should you be in a similar place.

Many blessings,

Sandi

 

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God’s Raging Light

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It’s as if pieces of stars

have broken

shards of raging light

pierce the earth

Angels’ wings fan

the specs of remains

to me – TO US – YOU

I feel the satin, velvety,

brush of each caress

and ripples of goose bumps

rise on my flesh

ripples rush within

and when you look at me,

don’t you see?

God’s divine being, inside of you?

©Sandi Martinez

 

 

Serenity

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I inhale sharply

the pain constricts

like a boa making

its way thru my ribs

 

It hurts, the fear mocks

me as if to say,

“I WIN”

I slump forward

 

But the flash of light

pulls me backward

its warmth too

hard to resist

 

It’s only then I realize

courage does exist

right here, right now

warmth of light shows me how

©Sandi Martinez

Divine You

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Sheets of light

Wrap around me

And then flow through me

And suddenly underneath me

 

As if I’m walking on light

So bright

The reflection of white

Bounces back and all around

 

On the ground

Tears abound

How can I deserve this?

Silence, not a sound

 

I close my eyes

Blinding streaks

Burn through

And then I see finally,

The Divine you

 

©Sandi Martinez

Peace, a Natural State of Being

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Intentions – they outline our thoughts, that then lead to action. Simply put, without intention, there is no outline. We may have random thoughts that buzz around what we want, and think is the best course of action. But in reality, when we put those thoughts out to pasture, what seeds will they birth?

My neighbor, (where the above pic is taken) has this amazing apple orchard. It looks as if snow has covered all the trees, and yet conversely, there is grass; water pooling underneath, providing the nutrients these apple trees will need to survive. I was in awe. This pic symbolized peace.

Peace. A natural state of being we can achieve when not held down by negativity, fear, and self-loathing. The kind we do when we chop ourselves up into a million pieces thinking, ‘I could’ve done better’. Peace, the decision I made at the start of 2018. And you may ask, ‘Well, how’s that going so far?’ to which I would respond, ‘Splendidly’. Because if I think even for a minute that all of life’s big bombers have a chance of taking me down, I’ve already failed. But no. That’s not the case.

Serenity is something that we all I would like to think, like to achieve. But really, it’s during the chaos, the pain, the unforeseen bombs that come our way, that if we can maintain a modicum of peace through it all; that peace ultimately is born. Chaos is always there. Peace is always there. Ultimately, it’s a choice. If we maintain peace through the most difficult chaotic moments, we have ultimately slipped on the long-lasting effects of serenity.

That’s the blessing and miracles that peace offers. The constant chance of breathing, exhaling, inhaling, and exhaling again, all the bad, negative, evil, and ugly-tasting things in life, we don’t need to absorb. The things that miracles are made of.

Keep, keeping on…

Many blessings,

Sandi

 

No Excuses…

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Shame on me… my last post appears to be in December of 2017. So, why post now? Four months later?

While I may have no excuses, I suppose I have my reasons. Creativity poses not only opportunities to express, but also, to stop; in stillness  – to look around, to listen to something, albeit a lot of nothing. I think this is where meditation comes in. So why tie meditation and creativity together in this oddball way?

Doesn’t an artist simply splash a bunch of their genius on canvas at any time during the day or night? With nothing to stop or distract from the creative  process? I wish I could give plenty of answers or reasons why an artist, regardless of the medium, creates their best, or worst work…

The turtle may take its sweet time to get from point A, to point B, and in doing so, wastes no time in asking the how’s or why’s in life. I can hazard a guess as to what the turtle is really thinking: Get there in one piece, and watch out for anything that might tip me over…

“Anything that may tip me over”. And that’s where I came to complete stop.

I’ve spent a great deal of the last part of 2017, getting turned back over. Life, challenges, obstacles, self-trepidation, self-delusion, and self-forgiveness led me here – now – to a place of peace. Alas, 2018 has been about peace. The maintenance, nurturing, and suckling of peace, in all areas of my life. Does this mean I only create when there is chaos, confusion, and bunch of badness in my life? Yes and no. The reality is, where there is black, there is white. Evil, there is a sacred energy flowing through everything and everyone. Where there is good, there is bad. A negative has its positive.

Creativity’s job, is to present these energies in their truest forms. I can see better when I have a full unobstructed view of what’s real and what isn’t. Therefore, I create with full expression – unanswerable to all that would require an explanation of the unexplainable. And this is where I will leave it… the quest to express without prejudice, the beauty of all that is, coming to be, and all that is yet to be born – whether good, evil, black, white, and in color.

Many blessings,

Sandi

Side effects

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One of the most common side effects of spiritual growth, is temper-tantrum-throwing. Yes, that’s right – stomping our feet, clawing at the floor or walls for dear life, as life pulls us ever deeper into the light. Screaming, yelling fits, self-pity, and yes, the recognition of all said behaviors above.

At the same time, this is absolutely beautiful. A painful, embarrassing, and beautiful process. And this is what I run into when people call me for a reading. And this is why I call it Divine Guidance. When I work with individuals from all walks of life, and they’re trusting me with sharing their problems, while looking for answers; I am filled with hope. I am honored.

Why? Because this is a sign that people want to change. They want to grow. They want and need or are looking for something different. I say a prayer prior to each reading. My prayer asks that the universe bring those to me, who are truly open to not only hearing the divine truth, but also are ready to make solid and ground-breaking progress on their path.

But what about those that aren’t there yet? Ahhh… a spiritual advisor can’t be picky. We can’t just want to help those that are ready and willing to be helped. Sometimes, it’s the ones that are the most confused, hurting, and broken people that are led to us – and most readily are the ones that require our patience, kindness, understanding, compassion, and light. These are the temper-tantrum throwers, and interestingly enough, are the ones I learn from the most.

Today, I say to universe, bring it on!

-Many blessings,

Sandi

 

Shades

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Shades of blue

reflect what is not you

and the lightest of hues

become what used to be

me

and all along the illusion

became real

a short distance of time

tricked me that you were mine –

the other part of me

that could see

colors dance

vibrant and bright

the lines no longer blurred

this is me,

the me I lost

the me I see

doesn’t belong to anyone

else but

… me

the colors no longer lost

the beauty all around

me, you, all nature within us

©Sandi Martinez

 

Hope Knocks

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And I looked down

and my feet were brown

stained by dirt, and mud

my chin hit my chest

… a loud thud

and I cried

I reached out to thin air

the stuck breaths… I tried

to breathe, to leave

and find myself

 

To put all my troubles on the

top shelf

but the more I walked

my knees locked

my head a big bad mess

would the sadness stop,

become less?

 

Then I saw the streaks

yellow, blue, teak

and the rainbow broke through

and I saw you – my angel

nothing more to do

 

All this time, you were my cue

now I know

the mud will come off

my head will come back up

hope knocks

the door unlocked

 

©Sandi Martinez